#27 Zack And Miri Make A Porno: Shitfaced

Director: Kevin Smith
Genre: Comedy
Key Players: Jason Mewes, Katie Morgan, Jeff Anderson

Following the shitty footsteps of Black Book, here's some more. In Kevin Smith's mildly fun gross-out comedy Zack And Miri Make A Porno, best friends Zack And Miri (Seth Rogen & Elizabeth Banks) decides to make a porno in order to pay rent. A pretty cheap setup for nasty jokes about cum, dicks and vagina's, even for a man like Smith, who's made a name for himself as a smart and witty man while making crude jokes about sex. But I guess extreme situations demand extreme solutions. In Clerks II they put on a donkey show inside of a fast food restaurant. So how do you top that? Here's how! While shooting a scene for their movie, leading fuck-man Jason Mewes, well, to put it as simple as possible, pulls out of "backed up" Katie Morgan perhaps a little too fast ("Anal's great when you're constipated" she enthuses, but don't worry, you don't actually see anything, it's not real porn you see). Cue close-up of poor cameraman Jeff Anderson, lying on his back, taking it all in from down under (a very important angle I might add), when it all backfires and he's hit by a cascade of stark brown poo on his face (you can even spot pieces of corn in there). It's gross as well as funny. Avoid chocolate pudding while watching.

Splash!

#26 Zwartboek (Black Book) - Lots and lots of shit

Director: Paul Verhoeven
Genre: War/Thriller
Key Players: Carice Van Houten

The third (and hopefully final) mention of something that has Paul Verhoeven's named attached to it's title (previous posts include Starship Troopers and Basic Instinct). In Black Book, Paul, as I like to call him, returns to his roots, with this dutch World War II spy-thriller, re-living some memories (and some made up) as a youngster growing up in occupied Holland. And as with most of Paul's work, you'll find not so subtle undertones of eroticism and sex - Black Book is no exception. But unlike the glossy sweaty sex between Sharon Stone and Michael Douglas, here he uses it almost as a reverse effect, keeping it nasty and clinical. Almost business like. Because that's what it is: an undercover operation that makes the heroine go through all possible ordeals. And with pretty devastating results. When put in jail for empathizing with the enemy, Carice Van Houten's underground spy is stripped to her bones and gets an entire dumpster filled with crap (and I mean crap in the true meaning of the word: shit, poo, ass cream) released on top of her. It's gross, humiliating and pure nasty. Black Book shines on occasion, but is really just a watered down mix between Inglorious Basterds and Lust, Caution. Make up your own mind.